Creating The Void 10:56:00 PM

Ugh, Tez keeps telling me he just turned 30
having dreams of being single forever he’s getting worried
and I’m scared too because I’m in the same boat
good women are rare too, none of them have come close
me I have’nt changed much, you know how I play
better safe than sorry
instead of searching for substance at every single party
baby being part of this life
I feel like I’m bound to end up with somebody
that’s been with everybody
I need you to rescue me from my destiny
I’m trying to live right and give you whatever’s left of me
cause you know life is what we make it and a
chance is like a picture, it’d be nice if you just take it.
Or let me take it for ya
I’m just down to ride
or we can roll around the city until we finally decide
I got more than a thing for you, tattoo and ink for you
right over my heart girl I do the unthinkable

From 'Unthinkable (Remix) (featuring Drake)' by Alicia Keys.

This is one of the better songs/verses by Drake that I love, even though his lyrics are extrememly personal, the overall situations can relate to everyone. Additonally, not to put Alicia on the spot but this song has Aubrey's emotion written all over it.

I got into a fight the other day with one of my best friends and I don't feel good about it. At all. I think we actually even destroyed our friendship from that arguement, we haven't talked in almost two whole weeks. I feel like I should call him but firstly, I don't have a phone and secondly, I think it might even destroy our friendship more. This is difficult, and just giving me more things to think about than ever before.

Now that I'm back at LREI though, and the year has started I'm getting back on track with the 'east coast action' label. We went back in the studio yesterday and tore it up, and since we haven't gone in the studio in five months cause of money problems, I just remembered why I even started the whole label.

You Don't... No, You Won't Understand 2:35:00 AM

The other day I was talking to my boy, Chris and he was like, "Honestly at first I though you were weird but, now like I think you the most interesting person I know..." then he said no homo lmao, but y'all get the point. So I feel like people judge me to much, like Chris said if we didn't have mutual friends to introduce us like we wouldn't of ever been best friends.

Anyways though, like I transferred back to my old school, Elizabeth Irwin High School, and I feel sooooo much better academically, like the A's are going to come cranking through on the next report card, but what i'm worried about is social ish. Like since EI is soo much smaller, even wants to or already knows your business. Like at Millennium I had 32-34 people in each of my classes... but now back at EI I am back at 8-12 people each class, which feels really different. I'm sort of used to the chaos of Millenium. So now with this new situation going on and the 9th grade year I missed at EI (cause I spent it at Millen), I am now sort of out of the loop. I mean I know everyone, in fact, I've know 90% of whole grade since 3rd grade, the other 10% are new students that came in 9th grade while I was gone, but I feel... out the circle. I notice now, that at Millen (as much as I complained about it), I had actual real friends that would listen to what I would have to say without interruption, judging me, or whatever. I find me and Addison and Gabby calling each other throughout the week more than ever now, lol. I wouldn't think I would miss Millen as much as I do now.

Part of the problem is I got girl problems too, like mentally I'm trying to juggle three relationships at one time. One girl like me and got the message across but then, suddenly pulled the "I want to make you jealous" card, another girl me and her are like each other but both know it's not going to work, and the last girl who I like the most doesn't even have a clue I like her but she thinks of me as a nice guy to connect with on a deep level about personal things and her relationships. This is all very confusing for me cause I know which potential relationship would be the best but that, relationship I'm thinking about the most is the most complicated. I'm not going to say the names cause it is a public blog but, yessir, that's what's going on now. My cousin said don't let it phase you and let it all play out so I hope it works. I trust my cuzzo with my life.

Musically, my head is in the clouds, like I have beats, inspiration, and lyrics in my head but when I write on the paper it ends up as a hate note to the world, I feel the anger. Like a lot of anger. So to calm that down I've been listening to a lot of The Roots (the 'How I Got Over' album) and Kid Cudi (specifically the Man on the Moon album) cause that always helps me think things thoroughly and clearly. Negativity always equals positivity in the end.

I really do feel the anger.

Just Blaze Explains What Happened To The Remix 8:09:00 PM

Wow, now I understand if looked at from a broader view, how the music buisness is artistically lacking cause buisness is slow but I still hate to hear that it affects the culture of rap and hip-hop in such a negative way including destroying the culture from the inside esp. because people want more plays on the radio to bump up VDS scores. All numbers now. I mean really the best remix I've heard in the 2000's is Fabo's (Fabolous) and Drake's "Throw It In Bag (Remix)" which I personally found it was 10 times better than the regular song with The-Dream. I really think someone should just seriously sit down with Just Blaze for a couple of hours and just interview him cause he always has something interestng to say.

Summer Nights 10:30:00 PM

Ight so like the past couple of nights I kept telling myself I should make a new post and finally I have decided to make one tonight. Since it's been like a week and a half I don't think I review much of last week, probably friday to today.

Ok so on friday I didn't feel like hanging out with Addison and didn't feel like getting to know any one so I decided I should go to a movie with old friends which was mad fun. I went to see Death at a Funeral at 34th street with Thomas, Liam, Kameron, Dav (David), Leon (who I really am mad at for destroying my facebook lmao), and Atlas called me cause he heard we were going but, I forgot to call him back about that (sorry). That was one of the funniest movies I have seen in a long time, I don't think I've laughed that hard since the summer of 08. That movie was hilarious, after the movies we all headed back to Thomas' house in the Penthouse of Irving Place which is like DUMB nice and relaxing. Like whenever I'm up at his house there is a whole view of Manhattan, I'll take pictures next time I go but, I love that house so much. Then everyone left one by one, and Thomas tried to make me sleep over but, I was really tired and didn't feel like being a buzzkill by falling alseep early, and by that time it was like 11:20 pm so it was either I go home or get jacked on the train for taking it to late. So I left and as soon as I hit my bed I was GONE. Like I fell asleep in my clothes that's how tired I was.

So next morning Cassidy (my cuzzo) wakes me up for fencing at 6:00 am and I just immediatley fall right back to sleep for another hour then I finally take a nice ass shower which felt really relaxing. And I felt at ease until I hear my mom's voice yelling at me telling to get out the shower. Which pretty much made my relax meter go from 94% to 21%. I have no idea but like I noticed, whenever my mom is in my sight I feel like a 75 pound weight of stress is added to all the stress that I already deal with, mad annoying. Anyways we leave, and get there on time surprisingly cause the trains are ridcuoulously messed up on weekends. But, after the fencing class, I talk to one of my friends' dad and he knows that I'm a music person so he talks to me about that, then tells me the Vice President of Sony Entertainment's son goes to the fencing class that I go to, and his son is absoutely a beast at fencing for a 7-year old. So, I was surprised and we prepared a little speech for this weekend when I see The VP again about an intership this summer. After waiting for my cuzzo and my sister to be done with their private lesson I took them home then they went to a party and I stayed home cause I felt so tired again and watched Sherlock Holmes on MOD and fell asleep until like 8pm and still no one was home so I enjoyed the peace and fell asleep again until the morning (I felt reallty tired this weekend IDK why though).

In the morning (Sunday), woke up, went to Church with my mom, saw my other cousins, got a Ice Tea at Dunkin' Donuts, in the car contemplated about how I love summers so much and why then I thought of all the good times I've had in the summers. So relaxing, barely any homework, time to spend thinking about how your going to tackle next year, girls, etc. Very nice stuff. Got home got the letter from "Universal" researched it, turned out the showcase was fake, didn't reallt mind, went to my room and made a REALLY good playlist with most of my favorite songs. Some of them are:

Pretty Wings - Maxwell
Inhale - Common
Hi-Definition - Lupe Fiasco
Let's Rick - Chrisette Michele
Throw It In The Bag (Remix) - Fabolous & Drake
Luv U Better - LL Cool J
Ain't no Sunshine - Theophilus London
She's So ATL/ Love My Outerspace - Hollyweerd
That Girl (feat. Snoop Dogg) - Pharrell
T.G.I.F. (feat. Chip Tha Ripper) - Kid Cudi
and approx. like 7-10 more songs.

Today was mad cool though, I feel like I aced my Spanish test cause for once I actually studied. Like it was a good day (and also someone was lookin' good today to, ask me if you want to know ;-). Finally, Addison came to my house in Brooklyn today I was legit proud of him lmao. So yeah, that was the last couple of days in SUM, haha.

"They just wanna see why
All they girlfriends be wanting pictures
I be flyer then a hundred navs
Worth a hundred hundrend stacks" - Chip Tha Ripper off of Kid Cudi's T.G.I.F.

Beer Money, Champagne Taste 9:00:00 PM

...is what my cousin warned me about people in life. And it's sort of true...

As of the previous date of April 19,  I am now presently 15 years old. I feel no different haha, just more responsibilities given and more pressure to achieve my goals now before I am 21 or something. Speaking of accomplishing goals I have been thinking a lot about money lately. Like my mom says I can advertise to be an assistant for one of the other brokers (she's a real estate) at her job which is really cool cause I get mad money. Last time I went it was like 2 months ago and worked for like 3 hours and made $50 which is a lot for 3 hours and helping one broker... I mean some people only make $10 an hour having part-time jobs but like they have to spend what they make on bills so that got me thinking. If I start working as an assistant every weekend and work for two brokers... that's $100 a weekend. Plus, I'm starting to build a recording studio in my room (I have a piano, a computer, and a D-20 Roland right now), so that can help me complete that for all the mics and acoustic padding I need. Also I need new clothes which the money will definitely help... and keep some on the side for food, or look side money for a future date or whatever happens (who knows what can happen!?). I was also thinking I should starting saving for a car... in like 10th grade though after I get new clothes and mandatory stuff.

My life musically has been going great. I finished writing my first album and going to name it "The Grand Exit" (I'll probably say why it's the grand exit in another post one day), and now were just working on Jake's (JR/I-CON) album, "The Man Behind The Mask" due to be released late this summer if we get the time in the studio with Dr. Kim (our producer/engineer, basically our version of Drake's 40). What's the great thing about my album though is I have great support from all my fellow artists and am really excited about this song called "Who, What, Where, When, Why?" with Harlem Bugz, Suave Bucks, JR, and Julio-G all on one song... with me. Shows mad love, shout out to all them by the way. Lastly what's really great is we got a couple of label A&R's asking me to send me our albums and demos to them once where done which is sick, and were going to get AIRPLAY (radio) in Long Island and word of mouth is one hell of a machine so that might send us far and in a easy path to fame. Mad excited.

Socially, I feel satisfied although I do want to meet someone that I should of met in the beginning of the year but I won't say names cause I do know some that read this blog with bad intents (ask me in person and I might tell you). Like, My relationship with Shantell has been rocky since we stopped talking since the beginning of the year but it's getting better now so I happy about that. In this school though everyday I'm making a new friend so I can't say I'm a loner anymore like in the beginning of the year. Though in the beginning of the year, my head was in a darker, more stand in the shadows and let others handle the situation type of place. Now, I feel freer due to the music coming into my life, and pulling my thoughts onto music instead of my social life and shadowing out.

Though I do want to give a shout out to someone. Michele thanks for being such a good acquaintance/friend to me. You and Alisa have held me down this year. Muchas gracias.

I think that's it. I've never typed so much in a post before, guess there's a first for everything though.

For more information on the album and their progress check up on the east coast action website.

Thoughts On My Mind | Like A Star 10:58:00 PM

These past couple of weeks in my life have actually seemed to calm down just a bit. I mean I'm doing everything that I was before but, now it's just... calm.

School has been ok, I mean I really really love my advisory, I think even more than my section (9F). Like, it's weird though because everyone in my advisory is aware we are all so different but when were all in the same room together we all just are comfortable with who we are. For example, Star this girl in my advisory is really uiet has and a small group of friends, and that's cool don't get me wrong but when she gets in advisory she seems really comfortable talking to all 11 of us in the advisory at once without shying up. Or Alisa who is one of the coolest people I've met in a while, is sort of the more popular person. She's friends with a lot of people in the school but stills talks to all of us with respect and doesn't act as if she is superior to us (I hate those type of people).

Me and Alisa an have got to know each other a lot better since the beginning of the year but it always seems like I don't know her when I see her in the halls, and it's not even because she acts different. It's just... I really don't know, haha. Like when were not together in the same room i'm just someone you say 'hi' to in the halls but, when we are in the same room together or like having a conversation, it's different. Not implying anything but just saying. I think that me and her are going to have some sort of special connection in the future (I mean who knows?).

As for my music career... A LOT has happened since I last posted but since I don't feel like boring you readers today I'll just keep it brief. Me and I-CON (Jake, my friend and soon-to-be signee) are getting in the studio next saturday a lot more musically educated thanks to MC Sa'id (big-time beatmaker/producer). He wrote The BeatTips Manual, a 400 page book with all the information in the world to be successful in the music industry and to be an icon in beatmaking specifically. We had an hour conversation with him on the phone and I think I learned like 200 pages worth of text in every like 2 sentences he said cause the conversation was that interesting and informative. If you want check him out, go to BeatTips.com and/or BeatTips2.com. Don't forget his son's site to (which is actually really informing) at Amir13.com.

By the way, the East Coast Action website is almost done. If you want the sneak peek CLICK HERE.

Flashback Post | Which Fast Food Rap is Better? 9:49:00 PM

Here are the lyrics if you want to rap along:

"I need a double cheeseburger and hold the lettuce -/- Don't be frontin' son no seeds on a bun -/- We be up in this drive thru/Order for two -/- I gots a craving for a number nine like my shoe -/- We need some chicken up in here -/- In this dizzle/For rizzle my mizzle -/- Extra salt on the frizzle -/- Dr. Pepper my brother -/- Another for your mother -/- Double double super size -/- And don't forget the FRIES..."

The video below is the Taco Bell version, which is better than the first Taco Bell version, but the vote is up to you all... Which one is better? The voting booth is below the video (the comments).

Here is the lyrics for the Taco Bell video if you want to rap along for the first part:

Guy: "Dont wanna spend dollars just cents every time we want grilled chicken for only 89 cause its tasty sour cheese and its packed to last i know i'm talk'n fast did you get all that, thats how its done right there"

Girl: "hold on son lets repeat it back I get what you rap but you rap like i hack here we go watch me flow 89 cents for a chicken burrito its chickalisious every bite smack it when we fight price so light when yo wallet kinda tight you wanna keep it going its a battle all night"

March Madness? 12:26:00 AM

What up?

Well I have A LOT on my mind. The past couple of days have been really productive music wise but, it feels weird cause everything I am doing now feels so adult. Honestly, I'm glad I noticed that I don't want to be the kid who sits at home on weekends and plays video games all the time. But, at the same time it feels weird to be growing into the person that I want to be in this world. Like knowing that Jake (my signee) might get signed to Universal Republic Records/Young Money Entertainment and me leading the way since I've been his manager/mentor for the past 4 months it's already great progress for a 14 year old.

Socially my world has been up and down like one of those heartbeat sensor thingy. One day at school I'll feel like everyone knows me as a person who is a cool guy just like them, and the next day I'll feel invisible with people looking at me in weird ways all because they made their first impression of me before I even met them. Most of the time I'll shake it off but it's still rotating in my queue of thoughts everyday when I pass the one's that judge me in the halls.

Right now currently though life just feels mediocre, not anything to get to excited about, I just feel like me, and my social life and friend expansion is straining to expand at this point cause we ARE more than halfway through the year so everyone already feels like they know who they should know and that's it. Left out? Maybe.

I am happy for one thing though. I met this girl named Tsiann I knew from waaay back in pre-school and we were like best friends and I really wanted (notice the past tense) until after a while she stopped responding to the messages on Facebook. Maybe I talked to much. But, who's knows... as Jay-Z says, "Got to learn to live with regrets."

Food For Thought 1:18:00 AM

Amazing picture I found on Flickr of the NYC skyline.

The Road Not Taken by Robert Frost

"Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,

And sorry I could not travel both

And be one traveler, long I stood

And looked down one as far as I could

To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,

And having perhaps the better claim,

Because it was grassy and wanted wear;

Though as for that the passing there

Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay

In leaves no step had trodden black.

Oh, I kept the first for another day!

Yet knowing how way leads on to way,

I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh

Somewhere ages and ages hence:

Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-

I took the one less traveled by,

And that has made all the difference."

Thoughts on My Mind | Isolated 9:00:00 AM

Me and Amy were at Highline Park on like 14th Street when we were doing our mini-photoshoot thing and thought this was sort of a nice picture. What ya'll think?

Ok, I have no idea why but me and Addison were talking and then some how the subject of what we wanted and expected High School to be like came up. So we went to into this really deep conversation, and I said some stuff that even I was even surprised to here me say.

The conversation started out as him talking about life "friend groups" forming and how Yulia had changed and everything, then I started too tell him out High School was really not what I expected it to be honestly. As some of you might know I used to go to private school at LREI up on Houston and Bleeker and it's small classrooms like basically 15 kids or less in each class, so I was basically friends with everyone in the school. Last year, it was time to choose High School after I got my test results back and I think I remember getting into Millennium, Eleanor Roosevelt (I think I spelled that wrong), and two other ones I forget. I chose Millennium even though I wanted Beacon because it seemed like a cool place.

Flashforward to the new school year, I'm excited ready to make new friends and everything, whatever, whatever. And then I learn that half of the people that are going to this school already know each other (mostly everyone was from 89). So like automatically that just makes it awkward for me... then I met Pola. The first person I knew, I remember it. She was from a different school too so we started talking and got to know her better and eventually, she started making friends and wanted to introduce to this dude Nathan. Nathan was a cool guy. But, it was weird cause the friendship between me and her was short-lived cause we were in different sections.

So I was once again somewhat alone and finally after like I week or so I started making more friends in 9F (my section), and it was all good. After awhile though I started to question why (and how) I wasn't friends with a lot of people outside of my section and everything I thought of kept leading to the same thought.

Everyone knew each other cause of 89. And since I was isolated in that small school I felt like (I know this is cliche or whatever) a needle in a haystack, lol. Honestly. Then I started thinking about like the whole High School experience in general and how to get to parties, etc., etc. So pretty much I realised I needed to be more outgoing. That doesn't mean I'm not going to be me but, I have to not be so shy or whatever it is anymore that's holding me back from talking to certain people.

So basically, the true reason I have been rambling this whole time is to say, it never hurts to be yourself, you really honestly might regret not being friendly and saying "hi" to someone you see everyday or, maybe being shy in general. But, do keep one thing in mind, what ever you are lacking is always attainable.

"Fear is like an illusion of millions of cracks in a window you can't look through, the thing is... it's really actually clear."

Should Be Illegal 6:43:00 PM

One of my signee's on my label, East Coast Action (website still in progress), sent me to the link to this and said "Yo, I know you want to be a producer, but you think you can be as good as him?" and my answer to that my friend is no... or at least not yet. But, still the way he kills this is just straight up sick, almost unnessasary, haha.

Those Quarter Waters 12:10:00 AM

Jay-Z really did an amazing job of picking a good director I mean these are probably the best visuals I have seen in a video in a LONG time. Happy New Year ya'll!

2010 is Here! 12:00:00 AM

"Celebration" by Kanye West

I'm sorry family but how could I not put up Celebration by our good friend Yeezy. Anyways, Happy New Year. 2010 is going to come with lots of progress and new ideas... maybe even a mixtape from me, but, shhh it's still a secret. I hope your enjoying the New Year wherever you are. 2010 has arrived.

Thoughts on My Mind | Present & Future | 2010 8:22:00 PM

People think I'm weird lets be honest here. People say I'm a jerk, they say I overreact. The thing is... ha. I'm fourteen who's trying to succeed now. Not later, not anytime after I go to college and graduate and shit like that. The thing is some people don't understand the concept of of using your past for your future. I was just listening to Diggy's mixtape thinking it was going to be crap. And you know what it wasn't. Why doubt a kid that is on grind going hard for his dreams like me? I mean I'm not saying I want to be like him but, it's a perfect example of my state of mind.

I know I'm going to be the best. So when people ask why I'm so weird I say I'm on another planet meaning when your thinking about now and living for the now "cause your only fourteen years," I'm thinking "Wow, they really don't understand that time is NEVER GOING TO STOP. It never will. That's why when your talking about me to your friends having all the fun in the world, I'm on a different planet pursuing my dreams of becoming the youngest mogul in the game living on top while all of the other kids look at me like "how the hell did he do that?" For all the family that have been there for me, I'll always still be here posting my life and my progress to my dreams. I'm just saying where I am right now. And trust me, fame is caliing 2010 is the year family. Fame. It's around the corner.

Flashback Post | COMPLEX Magazine Interview's Emile on the Making of KiD CuDi's Album 8:06:00 AM

Complex: For “Cudi Zone,” I remember Cudi saying he had the first verse done, and then eventually finished the second verse at a later time.

Emile: He had the verse forever and me and [Plain] Pat were like “’Cudi Zone,’ what’s up with it?” and Cudi would just blow it off. So me and Pat were just like, fuck man, this record is so dope but it went on so long that I started to wonder if this monster of a record was going to be on the shelf, just like if it was ever going to get finished. A long time went by, and he just wasn’t going to force it. Cudi doesn’t force his stuff when he works, it’s either going to happen or it’s not going to happen. Eventually one day, it was real nonchalant, months and months after we had this record and he was just like, “Oh yeah, I got the ‘Cudi Zone’ verse.” I almost didn’t believe him, I was like, word? Not only did he come in forever after we did the first verse but he did the second verse and it sounded like he did it the exact same day he did the first verse. The tone was cool, everything was cool about it. It was like OK, shit we’re done. Sweet.

Complex: Now how much of a time span went on between the first verse and the second?
Emile: Man…we did “Cudi Zone” and “Solo Dolo” I think back-to-back in like two days. It had to have been six months, I don’t know exactly. It was a while, I’m going to guess between four and six months.

To read the WHOLE article, Click Here, and for the article on his collaborations with Ratatat, Click Here. Dope article man. Seriously.

Hustler For Life 4:48:00 PM

When I hear people talk complain about how much they have to do in their lives, and how they want to change that. I don't really mind, sometimes I might not even care. But when it comes to the people who don't complain and do what they got to do without getting any recognition... that's what get me upset at times. Now you see I'm not saying that Lil Wayne is all godly, but I am saying his work ethic amazes me. When I was searching for a photo on Flickr for a new post, I found this and the subline had a comment from the photographer who said "This was at a videoshoot and between shots Lil Wayne would go into slumber mode then as soon as they said action he would turn right back into a machine..." Hit the jump for a video of Urban Spin from QD3 talking about his work ethic, and why he's isn't supporting the documentary no more. Thank me later.

Paradise | Hawaii Edition 6:39:00 AM

Sketch Dan | Waikiki, Hawaii

I was just listening to KiD CuDi and this song came up called "Muai Wowie" some of you might know the song, and some of you may not. Anyways, in the song he seemed to be talking about how great Honolulu was to get this "Muai Wowie," so I looked up Muai Wowie and found it was some of the best weed in the world (haha, somewhat surprising), and I found out that Hawaii was the newest state in the United States so I figured I might as well just see some pictures of it to see what all this hype about this place was. And this is the amazing pictures I found. Hit the jump for more.

Is Everything Broken? 9:00:00 AM

Here it is fam, the just another video that shows the great talent of Mr. Hudson & KiD CuDi creating a track called "Everything Is Broken," also recently I found a video of someone recreating KiD CuDi's "Day 'N' Nite Crookers Version" (The one with the du du du du du du dun dun dun dun, haha) using Ableton Live 8. He did a damn good job of it too, hit the jump to get the peek.

Be Amazed.

Street Lights 12:05:00 PM

"The City of Lights" | Dominic Kamp

I really was amazed by this pic I found on Flickr and automically stared searching for more pics on street lights and stuff, had a great turnout. To check out more pics hit the jump.

Congratulations to KiD CuDi's American Music Award Nomination!! 7:15:00 PM

Award nominations for this years American Music Awards were revealed today and Cudi was one of the nominees for “T-Mobile Breakthrough Artist” in the Rap/Hip-Hop category. The other nominee was Drake, as the two freshman will square off for the award. The 2009 American Music Awards will air on Sunday, Novemeber 22 from 8:00-11:00 p.m. ET/PT live on ABC from the Nokia Theatre in L.A.

Winners are decide by fan voting on the AMA website.

The Cudder man deserves it... Vote people!!